Andrea Harner
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February 28, 2003

Back in the HOT SEAT

Having grown up in Japan, I love WARM TOILET SEATS...not really the first kind you'll see below but the kind of toilet seat that comes with a built in seat warmer with temperature controls attached to the side of the seat for your very own butt heating pleasure. Much to my surprise, my American friends think I'm a freak! Can you imagine?! Your loss, fools!!

You know when you tell a family member, especially grandparent types that you like something and then you get tons and tons of that thing that you may have just mentioned liking in passing?

Well that has happned to me with toilet seat warmers. My Japanese grandmother (not actually related but may as well be) started by sending me the below, in care packages.

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Isn't the flower pattern beautiful?

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Then today, I received this package. Note the contents: Food and yup, that's right, you guessed it...TOILET SEAT COVERS!

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I couldn't wait to tear it open!!

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So here's the progression...

It begins with my lonely toilet seat:

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Lonely no longer!

Outfitted with Hot Seat!!

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Butt on Hot Seat:

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Finally! Reconnected with my roots, I am whole again:

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I'm PARTYING!!

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February 27, 2003

I AGREE! Couples SHOULD wear matching outfits!

Are we cute or are we cute?

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As you can see, we not only share the same FASHION sense, we also share an ARM!!!

Treasures from Tokyo

Some souveniers from Tokyo...I've noted what the items are called...

"Joke Pants"

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"I Love Breasts"

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"Firming Gels"

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February 26, 2003

Hanging out with Yoko Ono

Guys...I MAY HAVE OUTDONE MYSELF LAST NIGHT. I hung out with Yoko Ono. It was intimate and special...inside jokes bouncing off us all night long!

There she was in the crowd, looking for me...she found me shortly after and BOY did we catch up!

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She's such a silly one, that Yoko Ono...facing her back at me!

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Now this is where it got super personal:

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Our endless chatter and laughter had us POOPED by the end of the evening so we crashed at her place but not before chowing on ice cream, playing MASH over and over and pillow fighting in our panties...BFF, Yoko!

Christmas Fruit Cake no longer!!!

So my Chinese side of the family has ceaselessy and shamelessly been pushing me to get married..."gotta get married!"..."are you married yet?"...my mom's line = "if you're not careful, you will be like christmas fruit cake...left over and no one wants it!"...needless to say, I WAS SCARED...but no longer! I married Perry Lowe last night...check out the newlyweds...don't we look blissful!
Family, don't pay attention to the hot pink shirt, orange tie and sparkling baby blue bracelet...he's all man and he's mine! Congrats to me!!

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A kiss for my hubby! but wait! it looks like he's cruising the cater-waiter with the tight buns!

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February 25, 2003

President Laden

You know, I have heard how everyone and their mother feels about war in Iraq...everyone that is, except dogs...so I asked this puppy below how he felt and this is what he had to say:

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Watch Movie

the GREAT MYSTERY is solved

TRUE or FALSE: wrinkled clothing hung in a hot steamy shower room become less wrinkled.

I know, you're all thinking, "I can't believe she took on such a huge task!" well I did, folks and this is what it looked like:

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PRE-shower:

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POST-shower:

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The verdict: TRULY FALSE

February 24, 2003

CATastrophe

it all started out so innocently...birds were chirpin', children were laughing...Yury, one of Eyebeam's artists in residence, purchased a robot cat that came with a birth certificate and everything! Everyone loved the kitty that meowed, purred and moved its head and tail...look at how we loved the kitty and took her under our wing!

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Liz down right spoiled the darn thing...Bobby made out with it...

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Last Thursday evening was the fateful evening. There was an Eyebeam event going on and we were all hanging out minding our business when Kathy, one of our curators exclaimed that she discovered a "white ball of fur" in the toilet! I looked at my colleague Janice and our eyes met as did our thoughts-"it's kitty!" We dashed to the toilets and Kathy pointed this out:

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she then lifted the seat to show us what she had found:

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kitty was murdered and everyone's a suspect...Yury believes it was "an inside job"...others think it's a rival non-profit organizatiion......please contact me with any information.

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If all this sadness has gotten you down and you're fiending for live kittys, check out www.cat-scan.com

World's Smallest Pancake

WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, FOLKS!!!.....the WORLD'S SMALLEST PANCAKE!

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February 23, 2003

49 second man

49 SECONDS, PEOPLE!!!

it was showtime!!!...

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then some fighting...

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then oops! etienne's down...but can he maybe get up??

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nope. looks like he's down for the count...perhaps the 1 million dollars he knew he was getting kept him down??

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5 million dollars richer mike tyson gives a truly nutty interview claiming he currently has a broken back..when asked what type of back injury it was, he replied, "it's spinal"...he then confessed to "not knowing shit" because he's "so messed up right now"
oh...now I feel bad for mocking mike...49 seconds!...well done, Mike!!!

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February 22, 2003

ginger emergency

ATTENTION SHOPPERS: my significant other came home after shopping at prince st. deli (on prince btw mulberry and mott) at approximately 3 pm on saturday, february 22, 2003, to discover that the ginger purchased by the shopper behind him in line, ended up in his shopping bag! can you imagine the shock???!!! if this ginger is yours and would like to claim it, please contact me by email at andrea@andreaharner.com

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birthdays at eyebeam

i am one of the few people i know who is fortunate enough to say i love the people i work with...here's a taste of birthdays at eyebeam...sweetness and a little creativity goes a long way, folks! :-)

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February 21, 2003

nolita guy with dog named porkchop

this guy has lived in the nolita area of nyc forever...long before it became cool, hip and expensive...he hangs out and talks about his dog porkchop-in his arms-and how porkchop's diet has been unsuccessful and of course how things were back in the old days...

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my dog sparky

sparky, the light of my life

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suit options in shanghai

no such thing as drab suits in shanghai!

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Executive Kitty

don't we all understand these lazy days~

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kiddy porn?

is this not one of the cutest pictures you've ever seen? this is my cousin at age 5 in tight whities and a feather crown.
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blizzard03 in nyc

this blizzard was awesome...once you stocked up on movies, books, magazines, food and drinks, you were all set...and look at how beautiful it was...and how happy I was...blizzard03, i miss you!
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brooklyn dog

this is one of the funniest looking dogs I have ever seen. I walked by him in brooklyn and had to take his picture even though he seemed to be crying out to me, "save me from my owner who gives me these haircuts...I'm embarassed to be seen by all the other dogs...help."
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