Edward Lai Harner, Edward Harner
Andrea Harner
andreaharnerblog AT gmail
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March 19, 2003

LIFE AFTER LIBERATION, Part I-What they'll be eating

Reporting LIVE from New York City: An ANDREAHARNER.COM EXCLUSIVE on Iraqi life after liberation.

Americans will of course, be VICTORIOUS and Iraqis welcome us with OPEN ARMS!!

The first taste of LIBERATION for those LUCKY, LUCKY IRAQIS, will be an American favorite, HOT DOGS!


This old-fashioned replica is the perfect TEACHING tool to allow Iraqis to LEARN about our great eating tradition!!

Hot Dogs will undoubtedly be an IMMEASURABLE SUCCESS and Iraqis will PLEAD for More, More More!!!

So then we roll in the Pizzas and go the extra mile to introduce to them, the great American invention, THE PIZZAFORK!


Speechless with Gratitude and Impressed beyond Belief, Iraqis plan their Thanksgiving celebration with another great American invention, TURKEY PLACECARD HOLDERS!!!
With these beauties on the table, Iraqis will be just like us, reminiscing with pride about how the ORIGINAL GREAT LIBERATION began in a little place called Plymouth Rock.


Just when the Iraqis will ponder in amazement, "Is there anything the GOOD People of America HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF??" I mean, life as we used to know it, was never so FULL, so COMPLETE and so FUN, FUN, NUMBER 1 !!

The NATION OF INNOVATION will then simply OUTDO OURSELVES!! by providing for them, the vastly improved and dangerously superior...EZ & TIDY KABOB MAKER!!!


Finally we'll THROW IN A BONUS, because we're good like that, by assuring them, "when you don't feel like cooking, and once restaurants, SPRING OUT OF THE RUBBLE, you've got take out!"

They'll then be unquestionably DUMBFOUNDED and ask, "with so many menus, how can we possibly keep track of them?"


Well, that's when we present to them, The TAKE OUT MENU ORGANIZER! Hooray!!

GROUP HUGS commence and we revel TOGETHER in our profound happiness...us, for LIBERATING THEM and them, for BEING LIBERATED BY US.

*******end of report*******

~Stay tuned for for tomorrow's LIFE AFTER LIBERATION, Part II-What their pets will enjoy~


Our new muslim friends might have a problem with the pork products on that hot dog cart - replica, or not.

Chris alla Roma

Posted by: Chris at March 19, 2003 5:19 PM

oh no, andrea only use pure 100% beef snout kosher dog. it may be the kosher part that's a problem.

Posted by: snax master at March 19, 2003 6:38 PM

Don't forget all this started back when Iraq invaded Kuwait for no good reason... We've never taken advantage of another people just because they're weaker than us... Well, except for Native Americans... and when we took California from Mexico... and when we blew the hell out of the Spanish and took over Cuba... or that thing in the Philippines... Err....

Posted by: ReOdorantguy at March 19, 2003 7:22 PM

But you BOUGHT the Virgin Islands from us danes for 25 mill. dollars. :-)

Posted by: Lasse at March 20, 2003 4:56 AM

I must have the pizza fork. You must tell me where to find one. I am not in the mood to GOOGLE SEARCH. I am, however, in the mood to serrate my food and read this most enjoyable BLOG!!!

Posted by: Jodi at May 3, 2003 2:47 PM
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