Andrea Harner
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August 29, 2003

French Manners

While I suffer from wireless web withdrawal which has rendered me unable to post photos I've taken here, here's one I took the last time I was in Paris when...

I watched this French dog climb out of the car with his owner (who clearly has a thing for parking his car perfectly), plop down in front of the coiffure's door until his owner emerged with a très chic hair-do, and they got back in the car and were on their merry way...

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August 28, 2003

Update on TOO MUCH ZEBRA/SOHO HOUSE

So super jet lagged so here is a quick update on the Too Much Zebra post...taken a few days ago in Greenwich Village...

Just imagine sitting in this chair and feeling the dead zebra's mane down your spine!!

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Here we are, closer-up dead zebra:

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EEEWWWW!!!!!

August 27, 2003

Euro Quiz

I'm off to Europe today!!

Here are two clues as to where exactly in Europe...

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Can you guess??

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That's right...France! As in French Bulldogs and French Kissing!!

Will French Blog in Paris as much as possible...A bientot!

August 26, 2003

ROBOT @ EYEBEAM

...the post I promised a million years ago...

The event got off to a wet start when we received Lucy's (Janice's dog) BLESSING:

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Simple and fun, were these Happy Feet:

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You've gotta check out this little girl spazzing out to these shoes:

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This kid is looking at ScratchRobot thinking, "forget becoming a fireman, I'm gonna be a DJ!"

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Kal's robot was wearable and fashionable in the "don't fuck with me" kind of way.

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This robot seemed friendly but apparently scared some folks...even this guy and his daughter...wait, is he THAT guy? Does Elizabeth Smart know that guy?? J/K! J/K!

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This robot was positioned to live side by side with a live cricket to see whether they affected each others behavior...results pending:

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Eyebeam is proud to be one of the last fine establishments in this sinful city where children can partake in a Tickle Salon by laying topless on a bed, getting tickled and it's all kosher!

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Really it is! Although, check out his ecstatic smile! The kid's never going to be the same again:

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These were possibly the coolest robots...entitled micro.adam & micro.eva:

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Boy does that Eva spin!

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Next time you're asked to choose which is better: a kid's butt crack exposed or a grown man's butt crack exposed? Clearly this is immensely more dealable:

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This kid's got game!...check him out, pimpin' on a cutie with his cookie monster hat and pink roller skates...

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This robot was connected to rat brains whose brainwaves informed the drawing pattern:

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Wow...first of all, jean cut-offs on guys are hot as we all know...but to have it stepped up a notch with this fancy cut-out...wow...

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Here we have me in front of Chico MacMurtrie's amorphic robot! When Willa saw this she exclaimed, "THE WIRING LOOKS FAMILIAR." I kid you not. She then explained that the wiring reminded her of R2D2's. I know, tres adorable.

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Here was the ultimate moment: Feral Robotic Dog vs. Sony AIBO Stand-Off.
The former robot is a robotic dog purchasable at toy stores which was hacked into an activist robot by attaching a depleted uranium sensor to its nose so that it can be released around nuclear power plants to expose the gnarliness of it all.

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This AIBO flirts by nehhhing like a horse. Check out how longingly the feral dogs are looking at him:

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AIBO got what he wanted! A little love sniff:

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This was a cool Drawing Robot until a kid swung on the rods and of course his mom said, "well you know, kids will touch things..." Ok. Last time I checked, TOUCH greatly differs from SWING. OH AND MOM! hope you don't mind that we spanked the shit out of your kid! J/K!
The robot was restored several hours later.

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And this is the robot people couldn't get enough of...Fotron 2000...you insert a $ and the the robot uses LEDs to paint a picture of you...

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Here's what it looks like on the screen for you to okay before it transfers it onto a polaroid-there's me and Mr. Perry Lowe making out!

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And that was the grande finale!

August 25, 2003

Laurel & Hardy...and Grandma ADINA!!

I present to you...LAUREL & HARDY!!

...They are Jonah's Grandma ADINA's Daschunds...

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LAUREL is the more inappropriate of the twosome and we love her for it:

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There can never be enough DASCHUNDS in the house:

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And for the coup de grace, the denouement, the French blah blah blah...

CLICK ON GRANDMA ADINA GETTIN' DOWN AND DIRTY WITH HER D-D-D-DOGS...

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August 22, 2003

Corgi Thoughts

This little Corgi sometimes wishes he had longer legs, shapelier paws and looked less like his owner but he takes pride in breaking bitches hearts!

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August 21, 2003

If you buy this book are you automatically an a-hole?

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August 20, 2003

Getting the Best Deal in a Japanese All-You-Can-Eat Restaurant

Two days ago in LA, Jonah's grandmother brought us to Todai Restaurant, "The Mother of All Seafood Buffets" for a ~$13.95 All-You-Can-Eat Lunchtime Special.

Being the clever cats that we are, Jonah and I turned sushi into sashimi so as not to fill up on rice!

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but then we noticed this sign...

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and this sign...

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So, while we plotted to turn wasted rice into invisible rice, we took in the clientele...the hideously hungry, bona fide overeaters and seriously greedy people...

We then spotted the piggiest family of all sitting behind us. Note that there is a whole plate of lighter fish sushi in the middle of their table and several more plates arrived at their table...waitresses also periodically stopped by to ask them if they were going to be able to finish their food.

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Here's a close up of that beautiful plate...

We noticed that they of course started turning sushi into sashimi as well so we were immensely curious to see how they would dispose of their rice!

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As you can see from the pics above, Jonah and I were intrigued by them so we stared a bit, and then, as any normal people would, we took turns holding my camera over our shoulders and taking pictures of them and ummmm, yes, with flash.

So perhaps it's not so surprising that finally the mom barked at Jonah, "CAN I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING!?" and then the dad whipped his head around to demand, "CAN I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING!?"

Slightly horrified and collectively 15 pounds heavier, we rolled out of the restaurant into the scorching LA heat...

August 16, 2003

Sparkylicious!!

I am finally reunited with the dog that makes my heart flutter...

Sparky doesn't really like getting bathed but isn't she the cutest:

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August 13, 2003

New Yorkers are Nice!

Last night during dinner at China Station (the only Chinese restaurant in Mariposa, CA) my grandmother told us about the first time she visited New York about 40 years ago. She and my grandfather returned to their parked car to discover that their car was all scratched up but also discovered a little note from a stranger who had witnessed the crime. Not only did this person leave the note but called 3 days later to make sure the note was received. These were pre-google days of course and the witness got their contact info from the obligatorily displayed registration information wrapped around the steering wheel with address, phone #, etc in plain view. So 40 years later, New Yorkers are still up to their good deeds!

We were walking home from Chelsea when we noticed a motorcycle on its side...with a little note attached!

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Jonah reached for the note...

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and this is what it said: "I saw a car hit your motorcycle..." and listed the relevant info about the car and the witness' cell #

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Who says New Yorkers aren't kind??!!

So Jonah crumpled up the note, shot it into the nearby trashcan and we were on our merry way...J/K!! J/K!!

August 12, 2003

California Governor Race

Yes, it's true folks, here are two gubernatorial candidates for California:

For Gary's thoughts, check out his highly amusing "Gary Hates..."

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Arnold, well, of course he promises to "Pump Up Sacramento!"

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August 11, 2003

Pants left on Alameda Beach

Hey, so I was walking along Alameda beach when I found this little pair of pants...anyone? anyone?

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August 8, 2003

Phat Fades in Oakland

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August 6, 2003

Greta gets irie

I've become obsessed with Sex and the City and I am only a little bit embrassed about it...I mostly just really enjoy episode after episode after episode...

So, I spent a Sunday with Greta, my boss' superstar kitty and my Sex and the City friends...

and discovered that Greta likes watching Sex and the City too!

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Apparently she imitates what she sees so she took Samantha's lead and smoked a little joint...immediately afterwards, her head spun:

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she finally let the effects relax her:

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Then she fell asleep and dreamed about a room full of tuna and milk...

and I was on my way out the door to getting more and more and more episodes!

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August 5, 2003

Like Daddy

I am on vacation in CA and will not be blogging as frequently...it pains me :-( but please forgive.

In the meantime, I'd like to share a recent experience I had at the Barnes & Noble @ Astor Place...

I was waiting in a long line for the bathroom when a little girl (approx. age 4 and wearing a princess outfit) and her mom emerged from the end of the line. The princess was on her way to cutting in line so her mom said,

"Honey, if you really have to go badly, can you ask these nice ladies if you can go ahead of everyone?" Her mother good-naturedly whispered to us that her daughter is being potty trained so it would be great if we let her go ahead.

Of course we all had fallen in love with the little princess at this point so we were like, "Of course!"

So then the princess and her mom entered one stall and the woman before me entered the other stall. When the woman before me in line emerged from the stall, it was my turn. On my way out, I noticed that the princess and her mom were still in the other stall and then I heard the mom say sternly,

"Ok sweetie, do you still have to go because there are lots of people in line," to which the princess replied:

"I wanna sit on the toilet for a long time like Daddy!"

We all erupted in laughter while her mother blushed and said, "I'm sorry sweetie but you can't be Daddy right now"

August 4, 2003

Chinatown Forklift

Was walking through Chinatown when this clever production caught my eye:

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Pretty Lady Picture Decorates Forklift:

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Detail:

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As I walked away I was reminded of the Confucious endorsed adage: You can tell a lot about a man by the lady he decorates his forklift with.

August 1, 2003

eeewwwwww....

Green Slime Puddle on Grand and Lafayette:

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Detail:

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