Andrea Harner
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October 31, 2003

Turkish kid looks to Greece

I was told by a Turkish guy that the kid is facing Greece, where the lesser people live...gosh, guys, can't we all get along??!!

The only thing that the Greeks and the Turks agreed on was that "the Albanians are shifty."

Well then! I suppose that's something!!

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*taken in Turkey, April 1998

October 30, 2003

Boston Terrier in a Sweater

The Chelsea neighborhood is heaven for dog lovers with so many cool looking dogs and their friendly owners.

I'm just a busy bee running around from one doggy photo shoot to the next but I screeched to a halt when I saw this regal and glamorous boxer in a sweater.

I asked him to show me his most piercing "Blue Steel" look...look at that intensity!

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Oh! Even canine models sneeze on set!

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Finally, he struck this pose and I thought, we've got a "Magnum" look even Zoolander would envy!

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If there were one dog made for the camera, I believe I've found him!

October 29, 2003

So worth 210 Euros

The contradiction in this new Birkenstock edition simply astounds me.

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When Birkenstock starts incorporating rhinestones and gems, you know the bohemian/hippie craze has good too far...don't you agree, beautiful, shiny, happy people?!

October 28, 2003

Katie likes Grass

I am thoroughly convinced that only little dogs' faces allow for such cute and funny expressiveness...

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I was told by her owner that this little dog named Katie likes grass...

If you do too, you should look into getting one of these! LOL, ha ha, LOL...

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October 27, 2003

Columbus Cafe in Paris

While in Paris, Jonah and I were appalled to discover that the Parisian way of drinking coffee = sitting in cafes drinking cafe cremes for hours on end...just wasting time!

Even though we were on vacation, we couldn't give up precious hours that could be spent zipping from the Champs de Lysees to the top of the Eiffel Tower to the Louvre to the lovely Bateau Mouche ride on the Seine! Thank heavens we found Columbus Cafe in the heart of the Marais district, offering a strong resemblance to Starbucks at home. We felt at home!

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So we purchased our grande Mochacinos and sat down at the counter to take in the view, just for a moment!...when we realized there was a problem because this was our view!

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Look at poor Jonah trying to catch a glimpse of the quaint Parisian street life but noooooooo!!
Completely obstructed!

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So as any good American tourist would do, we let the manager know how he could improve things to make life better for us tourists! And if monsieur wanted us to spread the word of their cafe to our American friends, he would have to fix the situation, pronto!

Well, sure enough, we stopped in the following morning and there was a view! Keen eyes will notice the sticker remnants on the window-rest assured we made a big fuss over that mess and before long someone assiduously scraped it off.

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Finally, we were happy Americans in Paris:

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Oh, and our final words of advice for the Columbus Cafe were to instutute something equivalent to the Dunkacino, as Dunkin Donuts so cleverly did!

Like say, the Columbacino!?

October 24, 2003

Even tough guys have cute little dogs with pink collars

Seemingly straight out of the Sopranos, this Italian man who has lived for decades in my little apartment on Thompson Street tried to wrangle his dog to "Look ova theah!"

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"No not theah!"

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"aaaa, fughedaboouudit"

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Final note: Beaded steering wheel covers rock.

NYC's Top Dogs

Thanks to Jamie Rollins for directing me to this important article first thing in the morning :-)

New York's Top Dog? It Depends on the ZIP Code

Within the article are the top ten most popular dog names in the 2003 fiscal year:

1. Max
2. Lucky
3. Princess
4. Rocky
5. Buddy
6. Lady
7. Shadow
8. Daisy
9. Coco
10. Ginger

October 23, 2003

Carrot Top & EYEBEAM

Damn!! Damn!! Damn!!
How could I have been so caught up working on our annual EYEBEAM Artists in Residence Exhibition to have missed Carrot Top??!!

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Although this is a tragedy, last night's opening was spectacular!

Those in NYC, make sure to check it out!

October 22, 2003

NYC Boyfriend for Bruiser Woods

For those of you who have seen Legally Blonde 2, you know that Bruiser has a penchant for tough, leather bound doggies...

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I think I've found a boyfriend for when he stops in for auditions in NYC!!

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Check out my previously posted Bruiser Woods Doppleganger spotted not far away from where his future boyfriend roams!

October 21, 2003

We need to get Bush out and regain control of the Senate

Senate Set to Ban Type of Abortion Procedure Today

Deodorant Panty

Some Japanese inventions, namely the one below, make me want to throw in the towel, raise my hands and say, "by golly, what'll they think of next??!!"

The deodorized panty in packaged form:

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The outlines illustrated the point of deodorization:

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Here is the panty, unleashed into the world...

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In all its sexy glory...

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Ya, I bet you want to know where I got 'em!...Sorry, the secret stays with me :-)

October 20, 2003

Little Old Lady and her Dog

There is a huge spot in my huge heart reserved for Little Old Ladies with their Dogs...

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There's the ole howler:

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She was saying to her pooch, "You're really thirsty today, aren't you...well, don't worry, this whole bottle is for you, my dear!"

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And here's the money shot:

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October 17, 2003

The Golden Breed

How is it possible that this entire dog breed is so golden, nice and friendly looking!? It's as if they were bred for the catalogs of JCrew, Abercrombie & Fitch, etc...They're not as expressive as the little dogs I have a special spot in my heart for but they certainly are nice and painfully adorable as puppies.

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October 16, 2003

Gay Boyfriend's Divided Attention Phenom

Fellow fag hags out there.
Why wasn't I warned about this phenomenon?
If you go out with your gay boyfriend to gay bars, gay nights at bars or otherwise surround yourself with the gay boy population, you must not expect to receive the same undivided attention you give him because he will invariably be too busy checking out the fabulous boys (this applies even when he is happy in a relationship).

The night began with our perfectly original idea to hang out in Times Square because no self-respecting New Yorker does that and we go against the grain:

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Soon enough, we were in the heart of G.M.N.Y.C (Gay Midtown New York City) at a bar called therapy...check out the one moment Paul looked at me/my camera:

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We left as soon as Paul deemed us the best looking people in the bar which took about 5 minutes and 2 drinks...

So then we saw this beautiful sign which nearly brought a tear to my eye. I mean, is there anything more grand than a promise of lots and lots of karaoke machines?

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Naturally, we hopped on the subway downtown to the nearest karaoke joint...in transit, Paul checked out a really really short guy:

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Here he caught a glimpse of a cute gay ghost in the subway tunnel:

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On the other hand, in our little private karaoke room, I'm pretty sure there weren't any gay boys involved...well except for in spirit (you know those certain hip hop stars)

This is us ensconced in "Endless Love" starring Paul as Lionel, Andrea as Diana:

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The piece de la resistance was most definitely Paul's eyebrow curl:

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$40 broker but our souls replenished, we headed to our final destination, a gay night at a bar where I resigned myself to looking at the ceiling:

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Ok, that's not fair because I realize that since Paul took the picture, he clearly looked away from boys for a second so that's twice in a night!

Conclusion: NYC is a great place for single gay men.

Final thought:, If you're having repetitive dreams of drinking infinite amounts of water, you're probably fairly dehydrated.

October 15, 2003

Keep Back 200 Feet

Electrical engineering, molecular engineering, canine fecal engineering...

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October 14, 2003

Jack the Baby French Bulldog

I may have found the cutest French Bulldog on the planet and his name is Jack.

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He likes being held and protected like the baby he is.

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And he sometimes falls right asleep on noisy, busy streets.

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But he quickly wakes up and looks off into space hoping he'll never have to grow up and join this dog-eat-dog world.

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October 13, 2003

Happy Duck? Investigation

Jonah and I love this restaurant in Chinatown especially for their cheap, authentic and delicious wonton noodle soup:

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We were enjoying our usual meal there when we noticed this pretty mirror behind us:

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Of course we couldn't help but notice the ear to ear serene smile on this duck!!
Man, it was Zen-like and contagious!!

When was the last time you saw such a smiley duck, I ask you?
I bet...~~~not in a long time~~~!!

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Naturally we wondered, are the ducks here really as happy and content as they seem?
We set out to investigate from the outside:

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Even gi-normous smiles are known to hide sometimes so we stepped in a little closer:

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Hhhmmm.... Maybe?? Maybe not??
Much more difficult than we thought!

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Noses pressed against the glass, we thought,
"There's that winning smile! Or was it a snicker?!"
And then a second later, it was as if the smiles were smile mirages!

Man Oh Man!! Let me never judge a duck smiling contest because I'll certainly pull my hair out!!

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With so much uncertainty in the air, we were left to ask the pig nearby what he thought...

But he was too distracted by his happiness to respond...

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October 10, 2003

2002 Casual Cellphone Sex Remembered...

In this day and age when cell phones are changed with the same frequency and flippancy! as one's laptops, friendster photos, IM names...

It brings a tear to my eye to recall these old cell phones Jonah and I had back in the day, that shared a purely sexual relationship but had so much fun together...

They played missionaries:

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They acted out numbers 6 and 9:

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They guiltlessly smoked post-coital cigarettes:

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Those were the days...now cell phones think it's a "me world" and can't get along...

October 9, 2003

Let Them Eat Baguette

Apparantly Parisian pigeons are treated as well as Parisian dogs...Baguette for the Pigeons!

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October 8, 2003

The Young and the Talented, Age 9

Mini-Bjork, aka Willa Rubin, has given andreaharner.com exclusive rights to release her first performance art piece entitled...

Watch How Earnestly I sing What I Like About You especially the part about knowing how to dance...(1MB)

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October 7, 2003

Pug Equation

Snide Pug Expression +

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Scary Pug Expression =

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One Super Cute Expressive Pug

October 6, 2003

Bugs in Wine, a Lovely Time

While enjoying a wine and cheese plate dinner with the lovely Chelsea Peretti, I noticed that there were little bugs that enjoyed our wine as well!

SO, we did what smart ladies do to protect their wine...voila...the napkin protection method:

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There's Chelsea, showing me the sipping method with the most protection!

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Oh but soon enough, the bastards reaappeared!

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Caught on film, you buggers!

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The bartender was very nice...I showed him bugs floating in my wine and he gave me a free glass of wine for my inconvenience...

The free wine included only 2 flying cockroaches...

October 3, 2003

Butt Rock!

Update: Butt Rock is an actual rock shaped like a butt in CA!!

Double dare ya to touch, I mean, click (ha ha) on the Butt Rock!

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Andrea's internal dialogue:

Q: What exactly does Butt Rock mean?!

A: I don't know, but I like it!!

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October 2, 2003

George

I think I'm in love with George...

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George seems to love me too...

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He planted a wet one on me and a beautiful New York romance began...

Update: George's father, Jeff, has sent in a photo of George's brother, Milo, the little chihhuahua below!

Jeff says that George and Milo are best friends...he didn't deny or discredit my claims of a George + Andrea love so I can only assume that George is in fact in love with me as I am with him! Yay!

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October 1, 2003

A Jean Solution

Have you wondered what in the world to do with those jeans that don't fit anymore or that you simply don't like anymore but can't bring yourself to throw them out or don't have the heart (literally) to donate them to a Salvation Army type of place...

Here's a gorgeous solution for you...

Jean Chair Covers!

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Look at how seamlessly the different jean parts come together!

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Please, French people, let's not let this trend get the better of you!

Go CHANEL!!

~courtesy of a restaurant in the Bastille district of Paris.

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