Edward Lai Harner, Edward Harner
Andrea Harner
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November 4, 2004

United States of Canada and Jesusland

No nonsense border patrol please:

UnitedStatesnewmap.jpg

* Thanks for the gem, Lars!



Comments

If i could sum it up in a word it would be Devestation.

Almost everyone i know , we gave time , money and put forth so much effort, and still king gerorge II makes it. Whats even worse is the fact that it's legit. This should have been no suprise (after all 41% still think iraq had direct connections with 9.11) but..who knew 51% of the nation was as ignorent as our president.

I am mas most of my peers at a loss. We don't know where to even begin. Do we really move to canada (or mexico) Can we even stand a chance in the face of such an ignorent populace?

Maybe we need to get Hillary a helicopter so she can land on stages..and a flight suit... oh and we need to get her to work on a stutter and swagger.

To think we were so close to having our 1st african-american 1st lady

Posted by: Me of me Inc. at November 4, 2004 11:39 AM

That's hilarious. Thanks!

Posted by: leslee at November 4, 2004 12:21 PM


...and Alaska is "Republic of Oil & Moosies"

Wish NYC could secede.

Posted by: Daniel at November 4, 2004 2:16 PM

Andrea,

I've been thinking about doing this exact thing in photoshop for the past few days. With Canada's left-leanining liberal tendencies I think we would make a good country. Down with Jesus! uhh.. I mean Jesusland!

Posted by: Mark Baseggio at November 4, 2004 2:26 PM

here's another one of those:

http://mena.typepad.com/dollarshort/2004/11/canada_20.html

california becomes baja canada and all urban tax money will be put forth for free healthcare. the farmers will have to battle their own jihads they've been waiting for. gay marriage will no longer be an issue. it just makes so much sense...

Posted by: ann at November 4, 2004 2:51 PM

this was really funny! i'm from canada and you guys are welcome anytime. have a look at this site:
http://www.marryanamerican.ca
to prove that canadians are doing their part to make sure that 'no good american will be left behind.'

i'm sorry about the outcome of the election, i have a huge crush on kerry as well and followed that race more closely than i follow canadian elections...

cheers...

Posted by: Tenny at November 4, 2004 4:52 PM

Never seen that before. Seriously, its been on every livejournal in the world.

"Can we even stand a chance in the face of such an ignorent populace?"

The first thing you can do is get off your high horse. And you wonder why there is such a backlash. You're not elite, not special, your delusional.

Posted by: mark at November 6, 2004 5:18 AM

Such a confederacy of dunces.

Posted by: Carl C. at November 6, 2004 11:27 AM

Nevada? Part of Jesusland? Must be because of the drive-thru chapels, I guess.

Posted by: Tricy at November 9, 2004 1:23 AM

check it out... these guys put the same joke up on a shirt. they've got some other good political shirts and bumper stickers up there too.

http://www.merch-bot.com/product_info.php?products_id=149

Posted by: Harold in a blue state at November 9, 2004 3:08 AM

SORE LOSERS. You guys look really pathetic.

Posted by: Jacob at November 9, 2004 3:36 PM

'dear canada,
now, more than ever, your neighbor to the south(aka-the blue states)needs you. most of us living in the northern and western parts of the united states don't feel very connected to the rest of the u.s, so can we bring our states and become part of canada?
we have a lot of money and some interesting cities and we promise not to be too much trouble.
the benefits to you:
a-in one fell swoop you can have southern california and new york city! surfing in canada! suddenly the u.n is on canadian soil! broadway is suddenly in canada! you could then say that canada is the birthplace of jazz and hip-hop!
b-money. cold hard cash. the red states in the u.s might have the voting power, but guess who has the money? yup, your friendly neighborhood blue states.
so when/if you accept our offer you will instantly become the richest country in the world! that sounds pretty good, right?
c-karma. accepting this offer will give you more good karma than you'd know what to do with(because you would instantly make 120 million people VERY happy).
so you get warm beaches, tons of cash, and good karma. who can say no to that?
please let us know if you accept the offer. given our enthusiasm to join canada it's safe to say that the details of the offer could probably be worked out in an afternoon.
thank you very much,
-the blue states

p.s-just to put your minds at ease, we do know that we can't bring our assault weapons with us

Posted by: Lah at November 9, 2004 8:07 PM

wow. what a bunch of sore losers!

Posted by: Patrick at November 10, 2004 12:37 AM

No Kidding. Remember "Blue States", 44% of California, 44% of Connecticut, 46% of Delaware, 45% of Hawaii, 45% of Illinois, 45% of Maine, 43% of Maryland, 37% of Massachusetts, 48% of Michigan, 48% of Minnesota, 49% of New Hampshire, 46% of New Jersey, 40% of New York, 48% of Oregon, 49% of Pennsylvania, 39% of Rhode Island, 39% of Vermont, 46% of Washington, 49% of Wisconsin voted RED!

It's people like the one's who believe in the crap on this website and others like it that makes me ashamed to be a half democrat. If you feel you would be better off to be a part of Canada, please feel free to go. But leave the other half in the "Blue States" that don't share your views alone!

Posted by: Bryce at November 10, 2004 2:17 AM

Read this.............
Liberals Upset They Have Lost America
Liberals Upset They Have Lost America
David Limbaugh
Tuesday, Nov. 9, 2004
~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I need to read more of YOUR side?

Limbaugh??
Ya have another brilliant post up yer sleeve from Dildo O'Reilly .....the MORAL (when Michael Jackson paid off he was a GUILTY child molester!!!!!) loofah spokesman or maybe Bubba Rush .....The (Drug user, dealer and liar but it's OK cause he was in PAIN and where is his latest wife now!)Oxycontin kid? How about Pat Robertson, who Smirk said was the big LIAR? Maybe Scarborough........ the secretary killer. (oh , He didn't kill her? Never heard ONE apology going to Gary Condit who was mercilessly savaged by everyone of your 'moral' nitwits!..?
I'll tell ya what, I will change 51 percent of MY values if you will change 49 percent of yours and maybe then we could talk? Probably not such a good idea. That self righteous smug attitude would choke me to death and having an original non-zealot -like thought would probably make your HEAD explode again!
Must be freaking NICE to get a FREE PASS just cause you profess to have 'MORALS' and 'family values' and 'youthful indiscretions at 40' while EVERYONE else is judged by the rules you dictate!
Ya know I had a German Grandmother and she told me to Fight Gods battles with all my might but never to expect God to fight MINE! It works for me!

I will get a chance to meet you LOL
Wear a CUP!!!
Ape

Posted by: APE131313 at November 10, 2004 4:40 AM

A political/economic/regional alternative:

[img]http://uniqon.com/3nations.gif[/img]

Posted by: Bob Carroll at November 10, 2004 4:54 PM

The victory of George W is a win for the real power in America, Fox Network News.
It must be impossible for the average voter to discover the real truth of world politics in a country where commercial TV news has to be entertaining first, and accurate second, and where overseas news barely gets a mention.

Mark

Posted by: Mark at November 12, 2004 3:55 AM

Stop making excuses and realize that the majority of the real power in America, the people, did not agree with your views this time. Maybe they will agree with you next time.

That is the major problem with the Dems. They think just because someone does not agree with their views, that person is wrong and the only way they could win is with corruption or the people voting for them are morons.

Take it from a true Independent Moderate. STOP WHINING! It only hurts your cause. Try to have a little more reverence like Kerry. When he knew he lost, he called Bush and said congratulations. But what I have seen is Dems acting more like Gore. Whining about it and then taking back his congratulations.

Remember this classic and Democracy will work better;

Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
A man is born, he's a man of means.
Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans.

But they got, Diff'rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story
Everybody finds a way to shine,
It don't matter that you got not a lot
So what,
They'll have theirs, and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.
And together we'll be fine....

Because it takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.
Yes it does.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

Posted by: Bryce at November 12, 2004 11:53 AM

Is the "Jesus" of this so-called "Jesusland" the Jesus of the Jefferson Bible (also called "The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth Extracted Textually from the Gospels")?

Posted by: David Wozney at November 14, 2004 3:52 PM

Making a mockery of Jesus Christ is ingorance my friends.

Posted by: jonathan at November 17, 2004 5:49 PM

OK, so the South blows. But let me point out a couple of relevancies:

More than half of all white males in the State of New York voted for Bush.

34% of all voters in Oklahoma voted for Kerry.

I'd guess that amounts to about the same number of voters on either side.

PS -

The Mason-Dixon line runs through the southern tip of New Jersey: check a map.

PPS -

There are a whole lot of right-wing rednecks in the burbs surrounding Boston.

Posted by: * at November 18, 2004 5:38 PM

Have you guys checked out this URL? Really interesting: www.gayboygonorth.ca

Posted by: Joseph at November 21, 2004 4:36 AM

Don't take this the wrong way but...we don't want you.

Nothing personal, really. It's just that, well, absorbing 150 million people on top of our 35 million sounds like a really bad idea. I mean, the Western provinces are always getting screwed by Ontario and Quebec. Imagine how it'll be when we're all getting screwed by California.

And there's the city thing too. Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal are plenty big enough, and we've got our hands full with them. Having to clean up the mess in New York and L.A.... yeesh, that's enough to give you nightmares. And then there's the Canadian love of wide open spaces. Not much of those on the East coast. The West is a little better, but still..it's only a matter of time before people get sick of those California real estate prices and start moving up here, and if you think the traffic's bad now...

Now, we sympathize with you blue states. Even in Alberta, Canada's version of Texas, 70% of us couldn't bear the thought of another four years (85% in the rest of the country). But you're going to have to go it without us. I suggest you negotiate the upper kilometer (that's another reason; you guys would have to learn metric) or so of the Northern border of "Jesusland" and use that as a corridor between your East and West Coasts. That way you can avoid those cumbersome border checkpoints and driving through redneck territory. Also, when the bill finally comes due you can help us keep the red staters from sneaking into Canada. Let them stew in their own juices.

Oh, and one more thing...let's not call it "Jesusland". Jesus is an innocent party in all of this. I'll let you in on a secret: GWB is about as religous as a Las Vegas strip club. He just likes to talk the talk without walking the walk, if you know what I mean. Let's just call it "The United States of Texas" and leave it at that.

Posted by: Captain Canada at November 25, 2004 1:47 AM
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