Andrea Harner
rssicon15.jpg
andreaharnerblog AT gmail
This site is a member of the Blogads NYC Blog network!
Favorites
Dates

January 31, 2005

Stop the Death Penalty in New York!!

Against the death penalty??

It's time to sign up in opposition of it!

Join Andrew Cuomo, Russell Simmons, the League of Women Voters of NYS, among others to put an end to the death penalty in New York State now!!

It takes two seconds and I'm able to see who has and hasn't signed up so be intimidated into signing if you haven't already! :-)

Scarface Car

This is just like plastering your car with a Grateful Dead sticker or one of those Christian fish things right? No, not really.

It scares me so if I were a cop, I'd pull over the car, plant a gun and arrest the sticker sticker.

Harsh, I know.

ScarfaceCar01.05.jpg

* Lafayette btw Prince & Houston 01.05.

January 28, 2005

Biking Tall

TallBikerNYC01.05.jpg

*Elizabeth & Houston, 01.05

January 27, 2005

20Q.net

This is too much fun and computers are really smart.

Play 20 Questions with the computer.

It's cool to see its critique of your answers to its questions.

* I've purposefully not granted the computer a gender...only "it".

January 26, 2005

Hippie Artifact

Over the holidays, I discovered a treasure from my past that really belongs in the Smithsonian Museum...Hippie Wing.

The duct tape makes me sentimental and slightly queezy.

Can you guess what follows Thank you ... ???

ThankYouJerry1.jpg

That's right...Jerry...as in Garcia, the man who loved life, music and heroin.

ThankYouJerry2.jpg

It was fun being a hippie.

Just between you and me - If you throw on a good Jerry song, I'll still get close to weeping tears of joy.

Intelligence in men and women is a gray and white matter

Women and men use their brains in different ways.

January 25, 2005

This is a sick fantasy of mine...never needing to sleep

A Ukranian man hasn't slept a wink in 20 yearz zzz zz...

Poplockin

Oh boy...have I done it again!!...yes I have!!

This terrific site, a precious cut-out of Jonah's head and yours truly collaborated to create this masterpiece.

Jonah unlocks his grooves - click and see:

JonahGroovin1.jpg

January 24, 2005

Dirt, Funeral Home and Gin & Tonic perfume.

Back in November 04, for the five days leading up to the election, a few of us went to Florida in hopes of making Broward County go blue instead of its ill fated red color ("Real bang up job, Dre!" said my supportive friend Paul upon my return). While there, I discovered these in a health food store. I'm sure they exist all over and not just in FLA but Broward County, FLA will forever hold a special spot in my heart for introducing me to the existence of Dirt, Funeral Home and Gin & Tonic perfume.

DirtFuneralHomeGinandTonic.jpg

January 21, 2005

Network for Justice needs YOU!!

Stop the death penalty in New York State! Just sign this petition and you can help eradicate this fatally flawed system.

You'll get a cool personal page where you can track who of your friends have signed up, who of your friend's friends have signed up and how far the petition has spread!

Be warned - you might become obsessed with checking up on your friends and reminding them to sign up! :-)

Click to sign up through my page!

NetworkforJustice.jpg

Mensa Me Crazy

Fellow Mensans,

There's one question that is stumping me!!

In the early 18th century Mrs. Abigail Eischrank of Cambridge, MA, gave birth to thirteen children. Exactly half of them were girls. Explain.

Please don't say, "one was a hemaphrodite!" or "one was still born." I just don't think that's it. Only non-retarded answers will be included in the brilliant thread of possible answers.

These cards were a great gift to Jonah by Chelsea and they do not contain answers therefore I'm asking you.

Thanks!
AH

January 20, 2005

Why Hot, WASPy Chicks Love Jews by Joel Stein [L.A. Times Jan 9, 2005 LOVE YOUR WORK column]

This is embarrassing to admit, but we thought you didn't like us. So while we Jews were controlling the media, we tried to avoid putting actual Jewish characters in front of you. Seinfield, sure. But we made George Costanza Italian. We gave Craig Kilborn a talk show.

But now that you've spent about $200 million to laugh at Ben Stiller's mega-Jewish parents dealing with his WASPy soon-to-be-in- laws in "Meet the Fockers," we feel comfortable showing you our big Jewish selves. Philosemetism, which is so new we had to invent a word for it, has led to a whole new genre: Jewsploitation.

In addition to "Fockers," there's the movie "The Hebrew Hammer," Heeb magazine, Jewcy clothing, Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song" and his animated film "Eight Crazy Nights," and an upcoming collection of bar mitzvah stories called "Bar Mitzvah Disco."

The fact that young Jews in Hollywood feel comfortable creating Jewy characters isn't surprising. That's what happens when you forget to stop scaring us. You let us into your country clubs, gave us your women and encouraged our most annoyingly self-righteous member to run for president. So now that we've assimilated to the point where we're completely the same as white people, we're trying to re-create a community by shoving our culture down your throats. The bizarre part is that the same masses who saw "The Passion of the Christ" are into it.

With "Meet the Fockers," otherwise sane people in red states were willing to fork over $6 -- or however much they pay for movies in their Third World economy -- to hang out with my parents for two hours. The success of "Meet the Fockers" shows that America is familiar and comfortable enough with Judaism to get the jokes. Al Jazeera may be right.

The stereotype in Jewsploitation isn't the neurotic, nervous Jews of Woody Allen films, which you guys never seemed to like much. The Jews in "The Fockers" are loud, inappropriate, obsessed with sex and bodily functions, overly affectionate, liberal, earthy and smothering.

These traits seem to amuse people who don't get two helpings of it a day from parents who can't seem to understand that this is precisely why we moved 3,000 miles away to Los Angeles.

But they are also the traits that eventually teach the WASP parents in "Fockers" to loosen up and enjoy life. It's the same function black people perform when they are forced to be in movies with Steve Martin. Blacks do voodoo; Jews do therapy. We both are portrayed as clownish people who eat too much, talk loudly, rebel against authority, use colorful slang, over-emote, are too in touch with our bodies and are clannish. We happen to be the only two groups of people in the world who don't just pretend but actually enjoy jazz.

Josh Neuman, the editor of the Jewsploitation magazine Heeb, is concerned about this new role. Then again, like most Jews, he's concerned about everything.

"It's a kind of a fetishization of the Jew," he said. "In the middle-American mind, Jews are beloved people. They're a special kind of Christian. They're like babies. They haven't yet matured into full-fledged humans. I don't think it's 'Meet the Fockers' today, Kristallnacht tomorrow. But I don't think kabbalah is a good thing."

Neuman has a point about this fetishization thing. Like the assimilated Ben Stiller character who marries Teri Polo in "Meet the Fockers," super-WASPy women seem to be into us. Suzanne Somers once told me that Jews make good husbands because we have good relationships with our mothers.

Good relationship, suffocation, what's the difference? The point is Suzanne Somers likes us.

And I love Jewsploitation. It's what we were doing already anyway. When you belong to a people who can completely pass as white, you have the luxury of exploiting your difference when it's to your advantage and hiding it when it's not. It's why we crafted this clever but adorably harmless image. We've infantilized ourselves. Because hot WASPy chicks love babies.

+++

Thanks to my Pops for sending me and Jonah this...it's truly hilariously true! :-)

January 19, 2005

Cheapest Hands Free Cell Phone

HandsFreeCellPhone.jpg

Thanks to my friend Hannah for forwarding the photo...not to mention LOL!!!

January 18, 2005

Disturbing Sight

While all of us freezing New Yorkers, breath visible and all, scrambled to find the hottest meal at the deli, most women were still in their stilletos eating cold, cold salads. I nearly wept into my noodle soup but didn't want to dilute the piping hot broth.

at least it's sunny.
New York City: February 18, 2005

Weather: Arctic winds, High 18

Todd Barry: Falling Off The Bone

Comedy Central and AndreaHarner.com give a big thumbs up to...Todd Barry: Falling Off The Bone, a hilaaaarious CD by an incredibly funny man.

Best thing: You can hear teasers that will prove I'm right so take a listen and if you are bitten by the dry, dry bug that is Todd Barry, support him by buying this double disc CD!

ToddBarryFallingOffTheBone.jpg

January 17, 2005

2005 New Years (Blog) Postcard!

I didn't manage to send holiday cards this year so here it is...our belated new years card to andreaharner.com readers!

AndreasnewteethandJonah.jpg

Wishing you the best in 2005 and may you all find someone who loves you unconditionally or a good dentist.

January 14, 2005

My dad needs a sword.

Daddyneedsasword12.04.jpg

* Newport Beach, CA 12.05.

January 13, 2005

The Highest EQ Ever Recorded

I'd guess that if you take this test without any clue as to how emotionally intelligent you are, your EQ's probably not very high. I'm not like that. I'm on the other end of the spectrum - hyper emotional and hyper aware of my emotions. You could argue that this condition is just as handicapped as being emotionally retarded...you could! But just let me revel in the height, the elevation, the apex...that is my EQ!

EQ.jpg

As for my IQ...I didn't want to make my EQ look bad.

LOL.

Thanks for the link, Melinda!

January 12, 2005

Brilliant New Domestic Strategy

So here's my brilliant new strategy for addressing a messy apt that I may or may not be entirely responsible for.

When Jonah comes home and says, "Oh my god, the house is so messy!" I say, "I KNOW!!!!" and then nothing.

This approach communicates that I am in total agreement with him and that I am also incredulous at the mess and how it could have happened. The silence then caps it off by implying that I had nothing to do with the mess and make no promises of cleaning.

I am a born housewife.

Moments after the cleaning lady has left:

CleanHouse.jpg

Other times:

MessyHouse.jpg

January 11, 2005

Mint Beer!

The best thing about traveling in a country where you know the language but your significant other doesn't, it that you can play pranks on him! Yay!

This summer in Tokyo at a bar called Office, I ordered a drink for Jonah.

Mint Beer!!

JonahsMintBeer.jpg

*Artist and engineer Nikita Pashenkov appreciated the prank too while he drank his regular gin & tonic.

January 10, 2005

666 posts.

My number of posts has reached 666.

Let's all think about that for a long, hard second.

If you see me today, please hold me and never let go. The devil in me could use it.

Tootles!
Andrea

For a Ham Good Time...

Check out this Nippon Ham website!

Japan has the yummiest ham sausage things I remember fondly.

If you're in the mood for an octopus-y dinner:

OctopusHamDinner.jpg

Here's your guide (fyi, you'll need cucumbers to make the green bandanas for the octopi):

OctopusHamInstructions.gif

Or if you prefer the simplicity of this ham elephant:

HamElephant.jpg

This is your blueprint:

Howtomakeahamelephant.jpg

I hope you're not too intimidated by all the animal shaped ham products that precede you.

Gannbatte~!

Thanks to my sorely missed friend Amy for this link!

January 7, 2005

Worse Than Fiction

New York Times Op-Ed by Paul "Not a Fan of the Bush Administration" Krugman

January 6, 2005

Green is her Color

GreenladyinTokyo1.jpg

* Near Komazawa University in Tokyo 08.04.

January 5, 2005

Congratulations to Mom & Pop Harner for 31 years of marriage!!!

Today is my parents' 31st wedding anniversary!

There were a few divorces and loud fights along the way but they're back together and have been together for 31 years IN TOTAL...JUST KIDDING!!

They've been together non-stop for a full 31 years!

They like hanging out at high altitudes...

ParentsinYosemitesm.jpg

They like playing in rivers...

ParentsYosemit0804sm.jpg

They just like being together...aaaawwwww!

Congratulations from your loving, grateful and respectful daughter!

* Yosemite 08.04

Jonah's Secret to Success!

Bet you didn't know...Jonah's secret is wearing a tie-dye undershirt everyday...guaranteed success!

Jonahssecretofhissuccess1.jpg

Oops, he's avoiding my camera, trying to withhold his secret. But I am here for you, my readers.

Jonahssecretofhissuccess.jpg

Now go out and (please don't) buy some tie-dye t-shirts!

January 4, 2005

Sparky & Andrea United in Cali

Sparky1on12.04.jpg

AndreaandSparky1on12.04.jpg

Sparkypawprints12.04.jpg

SparkytheBeautiful12.04.jpg

SparkyandAndrea2on12.04.jpg

Christmas2on12.04.jpg

January 3, 2005

Chelsea Peretti Parking Job

This is how Chelsea Peretti proudly parks her car:

ChelseaPerettiParkingJob12.04.jpg

What a menace.

*Oakland, CA 12.04

Video projects





This Website was designed by Cat Savard