Andrea Harner
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March 31, 2006

Rose at Door

Just when you think no ones loves you, just think, at least someone loves this person:

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* Taken a few years ago in Jonah's old apartment building.

We are Gnomes

What do you call someone who's weirdly obsessed with gnomes? You can call me that.

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*Taken some years ago in Linz, Austria.

* Linz, Austria

March 30, 2006

ModernPooch, New Yorker Cartoons, Special Offer!

The only thing *almost* as cute as real live puppies are cartoons about them. Check out Modern Pooch now!

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Inside Man

I was so happy to finally enjoy a Spike Lee joint again.

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Inside Man was very good.

Salon's Stephanie Zacharek says, "This is a mainstream entertainment designed for that forgotten movie audience, grown-ups who have brains."

I appreciated the New York he captured, the terrific actors and tight screenplay, and the directing style of Spike Lee applied to a suspenseful heist movie.

The only disturbing part of yesterday evening's movie going experience was seeing a preview for a movie about 9/11 and Flight 93. It felt so wrong to make us New Yorkers relive it. I'm not sure when we will be ready but it seems a long ways off.

March 29, 2006

Harmony Hotel, Costa Rica

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The Harmony Hotel website begins like this: Nestled into the sleepy town of Nosara, Costa Rica, 40 miles from the nearest paved road, high standards of sustainable living meet the creature comforts of low key beach life at the Harmony Hotel.

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True but it's all that and so much more.

Imagine waking up in a comfortable and understatedly elegant room, walking on a little path through tropical plants while catching glimpses of fluorescent colored crabs and birds, on your way to the dining area by the pool, and eating a delicious breakfast with as much fresh fruit as your heart desires. Then you're surfing, swimming and playing in a beach so warm, soft and beautifully blue you might think you're in your bathtub but then you realize it's a lot better than that. After beach time, you're sitting by the pool doodling in your journal, writing your screenplay, or blogging! via wifi. In the evenings you drink cervezas and meet other creatively minded people like you.

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This is truly what the Harmony Hotel provides and I know because I've experienced it. It's tough when your good friends open up this hotel and invite you down to "test" it. We felt obliged. You may recall the tropical fun we had there in these posts: Jonah's Over Horses, Tropical Surprise! and New Years Fun at the Harmony.

Environmentalists will rightfully delight in the hotel's commitment to sustainable living, mellow surfers will discover their scene here and creative folks will rejoice in the perfect opportunity to unwind, have fun and recharge.

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Please say that AndreaHarner.com sent you if you go!! :-)*

*Can someone rotate that smiley face 90 degrees. It's not right on its side.

Um, can I get an awning in this awning?

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* Canal & Broadway

March 28, 2006

Andrea, Air Guitarist

Prince brings it out in me every time!! Jonah is incredulous at my finger work.

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* At Meg & Jason's wedding over the weekend.

No, I'm not being paid to advertise Gmail quotes

"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live." - Martin Luther King Jr.

What a fantastic quote.

Chopin Played on LaGuardia Place

When I have kids I'm going to homeschool them and choose their hobbies but *this* is too much!

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March 27, 2006

When I can't express a deadpan enough face I wish I could hold this face in front of mine.

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* Taken years ago in Chelsea. Have rediscovered draft entries while preparing for a very sexy re-launch!!! Stay tuned, excited and don't blink.

Conceptually Categorized Postcards in Paris

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* Paris, France, taken a few years back.

March 24, 2006

Atheists are Americas least trusted group

This certainly speaks volumes and don't forget, more Americans believe in Creationism than Evolution.

Congratulations America! Your people are not the brightest bulbs!

ATL Airport Fiasco remembered..

Two years ago I was held up in the security line at ATL airport as my bag got swabbed and swabbed and swabbed because every time the swab was scanned in the machine, the alarm kept going off.

Finally, a big burly guy came over and took over the job from the woman swabber. He asked me for my shoes and ID and after writing down a bunch of things, he returned my flip-flops and ID and told me that he'd written a report on my purse and that I could go.

So then I asked, "Did you find anything?"

He reponded, "Yes, maam, TNT"

I thought, "Wait, I've heard of that. What is that again?"

And he replied in his polite Southern accent, "Dynamite, maam."

The Old and The New

I'm almost done preparing for this site's relaunch! so while I finish up, enjoy some more photos from a trip to China several years ago.

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March 23, 2006

How to Spot a Baby Conservative

Or better yet, how to hear them from afar.

March 22, 2006

Jonah in Stay Free Magazine!

That's my boy!

Yes, I know that the magazine is unfortunately named but it's a truly fantastic magazine and we're just going to have to suppress our giggles and be adults about this...

Not scary at all. I just pissed myself.

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via HuffingtonPost.com.

March 21, 2006

Tourette's in Aisle 1

I was in Duane Reade the other day when all of a sudden I and the 50 people in one inefficient line all heard and saw a woman walk into the store, crying and wailing, her face contorted with pain. She looked like the average 50 year old Jewish New Yorker. Prematurely silver hair, black full length puffy coat, black boots caught in between snow boots and stylish boots, carrying a hippieish beige satchel purse. I stood there thinking, "I have to ask her what's wrong. I have to help her. If I don't what kind of person would I be? Would I even be a human being if I didn't?" and as she balled and moaned and walked by me my thoughts turned into "I'm sure the reason people don't approach this sort of sisutation is out of fear. And it's understandable. I mean, how do I know she won't lash out at me or maybe even hurt me?" and just like that I went from being a caring person to a rational, cold person. She walked down the long makeup & shampoo aisle and the weird thing was that she stopped crying but after a minute or so would start up again. I and one other person in line were traumatized (visualize our furrowed brows and frown lines) and captivated and kept turning around to observe her. My curiosity got the best of me and I stepped out of line and found myself downstairs in the cleaning products aisle where she was narrowing down detergent options. I walked by her slowly and she seemed fine. If I hadn't witnessed her sobbing upstairs a few minutes ago I would never had known that anything was wrong. And then it occurred to me that she probably has Tourette's and I felt better for being a cold-hearted person with a detective mind.

March 20, 2006

V for Vendetta

You shouv see vis movie. It's not verfect but it's vretty vowerful and devinitely vorth your time.

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Chinese Minority Women from Southwestern China

While I work to create our new company's logo and while I work on another cartoon, here are some photos I took several years ago.

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March 17, 2006

When a comment is so good it's elevated to a post

"I once sat next to a kid in grade school who collected his boogers on a piece of paper. At the end of each week he would take it out and draw a circle around the significant ones.

I don't think I ever learned what their significance was."

This is not just a random story shared by Kenyatta but in response to the post below.

Snot Rainbow

I know that as loyal readers you care so much about me and you try not to overstep boundaries like asking for the details of my nasty cold/flu/whatever this is. Well I love you too so I'll satisify your latent curiousity with the latest developments:

This morning I woke up with a burning sensation in my chest and sure enough there was a snot factory brewing within.
I blew my nose and was happy to see a whole mess of yellowness.
I said to Jonah, "Isn't it good that it's yellow?"
Jonah to me: "Well, you want clear."
Me: I know but doesn't yellow come after green and then comes clear?"
to which Jonah replied, "I don't know the colors of the snot rainbow, my sweet pea."
And I fell in love all over again.

* I layed out the episode the way I did because it's poetry. 2006 kind of poetry. Pre-divorce Nick & Jessica kind of poetry.

Harner-Peretti Taste Test Challenge Party 2006!!

It always begins so clean, so nice, so simple...

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But you could read between the coke and pepsi lines and sense the fierce ensuing competition:

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The wines - St. Aubin vs. Peter Vella box wine (their graphic design is so inspired!):

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The vodkas - Grey Goose vs. Smirnoff and the cokes - Pepsi vs. Coke:

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My dear friend Sally Rumble comes through with her homemade blindfold!!

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I obviously think this is a cute look:

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Cory Arcangel's arrogant "give it to me":

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Here it is, Cory, can you do it? Sniff away boy!

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Haaa, harder than you thought huh?! Beer was his palette cleanser.

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A lot harder:

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Ok, I know which is which!

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WRONG:

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Cory: Here Lauren, have a sip of my beer. It's good! Lauren: What would you know? You have no taste buds.

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Oh we had high hopes for Lauren Cornell being a classy lady who grew up in NYC...

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But hopes are often dashed:

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And squashed as if they never existed:

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Jacob, the Drinker:

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The Thinker:

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The Stinker:

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Jamie Rollins had a special kind of challenge:

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Guess if it's your friend James Powderley or your girlfriend Rebecca Bureau kissing you? He was stumped.

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In the drink challenge too.

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Rebecca on the other hand...being half French...

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Knew a box wine from a French wine...

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And the differences between American Colas AND the subtleties of a pretentious vodka versus Smirnoff. Hooray!! First person to win the triple challenge!!

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Sally's a great blindfold maker. Let's just leave it at that.

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Why does this boob/wine glass photo seem wrong?

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Lily Whitall read somewhere that looking like a blonde pocohantas would give her a leg up in the challenge:

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Let's take a sniff:

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Let's really get in there...oh well.

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Ok John, Mr. Conoisseur.

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The stars just weren't aligned:

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The stars were bad:

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He guessed the Colas correctly:

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But the wine mistake will take time to heal:

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With only one person, Rebecca, having met the challenge, Jonah was amped.

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Intensity:

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INTENSITY:

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That's my boy!! He became the second (and ssshhh, last!) person to win the challenge!

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Dalton Conley represented NYU by attempting to cheat. Just kidding. He didn't cheat.

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In the end he gave the party a 50 minute lecture on how if you cheat you only cheat youself...and then tried for another sneak peak. Just kidding *again*!

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Duncan represented Columbia by being big - too big for his whole head *and* body to fit in a picture:

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The only person to ask for a refill:

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Duncan confessed to us that he really likes challenges involving drinking. We had no idea.

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Whereas the majority of players got 1 out of 3 right, Natalie Jeremijenko made a name for herself by getting all 3 wrong! That's my girl!

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Friend from high school, Tosan Omabegho (my nickname for him: Toaster OnABagel), giving it a go:

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He was introducing me to his date who he brought named Vasolina - no joke - she was very sweet and very sloppily named - pun intended.

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Thanks to whoever took this picture - you really captured nothing special. BTW, I got 2 out of 3 right and will now be sticking to box wine since I apparently prefer it.

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If you look past the mess,

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You'll see THE RESULTS!!

6/16 GUESSED THE WINE CORRECTLY = 36%

8/16 GUESSED THE VODKA CORRECTLY = 50%

11/16 GUESSED THE COLA CORRECTLY = 70%

IMPORTANT NOTE: IT TOOK TWO PEOPLE OF FRENCH AND OF ITALIAN ANCESTRY TO HAVE PALETTES DISCERNING ENOUGH FOR THE WINE, VODKA AND COLA TASTE TEST CHALLENGE!

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The point is that this challenge was A LOT harder than people expected. A LOT. I dare you to give it a try and report back here please! Good night!

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March 15, 2006

Elevator Button No-No

Wow, this may be the longest I've gone without posting! Apologies, loyal readers. My hiatus is over. I've had the flu and since I'm suffering and it's important that we share, here's a little post that may make you suffer too - enjoy.

There's *got* to be a better place to put your gum.

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Thanks to the building guys for taking care of this within 12 hours but I want to see flyers of the culprit in handcuffs posted all over the building. ASAP.

March 10, 2006

GMail Quote of the Day

"Be who you are and be that well." - Saint Francis de Sales

David Hasselhoff, Dog Abuser.

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Thanks to Peter Green for exposing this dog abuse.

March 9, 2006

The Best Yoga Experience in Santa Monica

People who know my hyperactive, neurotic self may be surprised when I do yoga but what's more suprising is my little brother doing yoga. That's why I couldn't believe when this past Tuesday in LA my brother said, "wanna take a Power Yoga class tonight?" Uuuummm, brother? You're still my brother right? Has a yogi invaded your body?

He assured me that I would love the teacher of this particular class and he couldn't have been more right. She was no-nonsense, funny, instructive, inspirational and philosophical but not in a new agey, gross way at all *and* she played hip hop. I finally really liked yoga.

Ally Hamilton is that fantastic yoga teacher who teaches classes at Santa Monica Power Yoga, a donation only place - how truly yogic is that?!

She taught the class in this pose, the whooooole time:

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P.S. I'd love to go to this yoga retreat in Maui. It's not donation only but I'm accepting your donations. You can expect really nice thank you notes.

Come on. Isn't it important for you to put me here?

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Rent Murderball

From the opening scene I was engrossed and completely taken by this documentary.

Trailer here.

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Versace on Board

My Black Celebrity Siting Tour ended on my flight back to NYC when I spotted Donatella Versace on the flight. Oh well. Thank you god for sparing me, Lily and Donatella's life.

NYC, I missed you baby!!

March 7, 2006

LA weather was pretty great today.

March 6, 2006

LA Weather is a Sham.

It's pouring and cold and I don't want to hear about how it doesn't rain or that it's not cold in LA or CA. It's BS.

Psst - The LA Tourism Lobby is running a racket.

Black Celebrity Tour '06

Out here on the West Coast doing some business (when did I start talking like this?!) and so far I've seen Al Roker at JFK when he was acosted by a fan, nearly three times his size and Danny Glover sat 5 row aheads of me in first class (guess if it was him or me in first class) with his adorable grandson (I knew god would spare my plane with a Lethal Weapon legend and an adorable baby on board) and then just now, sat with a black comedian/actor (don't know his name but have seen him in some movie) who entertained us for a good hour and had all the white folk around him laughing and laughing.

If only this all happened last month I'd attribute it to being Black History Month and obviously the delegations sent out their ambassadors...

March 3, 2006

This Brian Lehrer segment about Annie and Danny broke my heart.

Storycorps is one of the most inspirational projects out there.

Spring Boots Procured!

Spring? Where are you? I just bought boots to wear when you're around. They're gonna look great with you. Where are you???!!!

Mine are a more eggplant color and I bought two, one for each foot.

Guess who's going to have to take off their shoes for airport "security"?*

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*Sorry, I don't believe that when I take off my boots I'm improving airport security in any way.

March 2, 2006

Staring Down Kitty

This is about the age when you can start staring down the family kitty.

Any younger and it would be a mess.

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Thanks to my friend Annie Maxwell for having such a cute niece named Holly. Good work!

March 1, 2006

I can't believe I've only found my favorite quote now!

I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color PURPLE and don't stop to notice it. - Alice Walker

Vail Vacation 2006

Spent this past weekend in Vail for our friend Duncan's 45th birthday. I learned that skiing is prohibitively expensive, a pain in the ass for most of the time and fun sometimes. Hot tubbing is fun all the time.

Our favorite skiing position:

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There was a serious altercation at the intersection of the paw prints - People are still talking about it:

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Tards:

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Stupid street sign system - What? It snows here and the street signs might get covered up??!!

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Tards in shades:

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Glistening beer:

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2 Boots as in Two Boots - HA HA!! That's only hilarious to Manhattanites.

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I'm not at all afraid of heights or the ski lift.

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Short skies = Professional Skier. 124 cm to be exact.

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My favorite skier:

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