What he failed to mention is something that has been a big part of his family history - incest.
A: totally awesome hook-up two Thanksgivings ago. Inhofe was drunk in bathroom, peeking through slit in door, waiting until Granddaughter walked by and then he stuck out his creepy hand, grabbed her and pulled her in. She's now 9 years old and drinks before noon.
B: Cousin Boy and Cousin Girl are madly in love with each other but don't want to taint the family's recorded history so instead have romantic plans to marry other people but to always live next door to each other for the rest of their incestuous lives. In this secretive, tense environment they fight a lot but always have makeup sex.
C: These guys really brokeback it. They were always close brothers and now that their wives are friendly and take karate lessons together, they've been able to spend qt together at pottery class. P.S. That phallic ashtray Brother B received from Bother A was indeed pottery art from the heart even though Brother B, in a crystal meth freak out, threw it in his son's face and it shattered. Now his son wants to do meth and bang his brother like Daddy.