Edward Lai Harner, Edward Harner
Andrea Harner
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July 18, 2006

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always
reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester,
and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in
the same way that hanging around tall people will make
you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all
kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry
their pets because a dog has legal standing and can
sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and
hasn't changed at all; women are still property,
blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still
illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay
marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears'
55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce
children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old
people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our
orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more
children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children,
since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a
theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are
imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only
one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a
female role model at home. That's why we as a society
expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of
society; we could never adapt to new social norms.
Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the
service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

* Thanks to my brother for this awesome email forward!



Comments

That actually comes from http://bligbi.com, posted on June 30th...he has some great stuff.

Posted by: robyn at July 18, 2006 1:54 PM

Why do they always say "marrying animals" is next?

I don't think anyone wants to marry a goat, I really don't.

And they say gay people are weird?

Posted by: Ashley at July 19, 2006 8:30 PM
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